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What's been up with me


Soft distances
a long walk
a bus ride
the universe from one atom to the other
Remember there is infinity from 0 to one
But the distance from me to anyone seems longer than that at times
I have problems with the finite, hope
and confidence in anything but the volume of my voice
I am a beached whale basking in sand, suffocating and the weight of my own body is crushing me.
I am desperately searching for the strength to spend
10, 11, 12 heartbeats with you
I have hurt you
Never truly known you
I have been low and Bottomed out
Looking up to find Mari onus depths miles above me
My heart has been on chemical sabbatical
Now that it is back it's teaching me the lesson of a lifetime and that is never comfortable
My eyes are blurred and cross from trying translate my own scientific chicken scratch
I cry at the drop of a hat every hat
I have dreams of being a teacher expelling students for not listening
and I have been deaf to anyone's words for a storybooks age
I have exhausted myself worrying about the future and my thread to it
wanting connection i have disconnected completely and left the grid
following spiritual train tracks into a culvert

Snorting White Mexican cinnamon
I have numbed myself into moments of unexplainable dread
left fetal and breathless

I need to find my words again
left them in a backpack on a white dust covered desk in hells waiting room
But those Words
Those where words that could let me fly from Dallas to Denver
London to Providence
Providence in You
Providence in the Moment
I am finding the blessings of doubt
blessings in grocery stores and street corners
surprise phone calls are a serenity
and This turbulent torrent in my soul is a welcome chaos
I have shaved off my mad mountain man persona
But the crackling energy of my emotions is dripping from my pours
Those with heart conditions should be warned of hugging me
There is no calm in this storm of me and i am better for it
The mountains to the west are illusions
In truth they are Buddha's fingers pointing up as he gently held me in his palm
Until I had the courage to look up at him and match his smile
and every day is a new mystery to me
treading the waters of the world I forsake
I am dusting off my chi
a child again
clumsy fingers break almost everything they touch
I am prone to inexplicable joy now
My tears have begun to taste like Jasmine tea
My throat is sore and hoarse all the time now
It's hard to talk sometimes because the words are more honest
and proving there worth threw effort

And I am so scared
This is unmapped territory
There is so much freedom in admitting the albatross around your neck
The monkey on your back
Miracles in the hearts of more people than i can count
Who have been waiting with the patience of the dhali Lama
Hope like Gandhi
Hands like mother Teresa
Names Like Gooph and Megan
Derek and Cora
Jack,Ian, Pauly, MLE, Andrew, Jessie, Hannah, Dustin, Ryan and to say all there names would

fill more pages than war and peace.

And the Love I feel for them is enough to power a city
With the beads on my wrist
I can say my prayers again
Give me Peace,
Give me Hope
Give me strength
Give me you
Give you me

Give me Peace,
Give me Hope
Give me strength
Give me you
Give you me

Give us one day

Just Give us all we can ask for
Give us Today

OK recap

I have been really good and really cray lately.
I just got back from vegas where I had a Vaca paid for buy Triad Dragons for working skylab madness.
I have a girlfriend.

She is awesome

I am working all over and all the time

Life for the most part is crazy but good

Ok done


Man has it been HOT.
Like Africa hot.

I like the heat but OMG

And done so 5 hours was 4 and now I am back at the office writing checks.

Had some sushi and bought a couple more pairs of ear rings cheap and acrylic but I need to have some backups.

This weekend is global dance festival and I have been made a stage manager. This would be awesome if I was getting paid for it. BUT!!! the guy thinks he is getting us for free.

WRONG!!!! Myself and Tom have increased our rental costs to include this new work load. Meaning we are charging double what we had last year to help pay for our time.

We get PAID!!!

The new motto

also we have changed the format of our Backline company.

System 7 is now a Rental and Event Coordination company.
This will allow us to charge the extra fee's for all the extra work.

And soon we will be looking for a second office/house in LA.
Not moving just getting a second place for our work out there.

Now again I ask

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? I need some music and would love to know what everyone is getting down with.

When you work freelance

Since my job is freelance I find
That every day I wake up make tea browse the net and wait to see who get's me today.
Then I sit back down do laundry as 4 people want me to do something for them today
the question is who will get here with the correct things to do what they want (a requirement of my employment) who will have breakfast then I am sure I will run around with my head cut off for 5 hours then be home. That makes my Tuesday a Sunday and Mondays my new Saturdays. Sometimes when you make your schedule you need to rework the week. It's easier if you write it out.

when the circuit turns to banjo's

I have been working with electronic music for a LONG TIME!!!!!

Doreen from old 97's makes me so stupid happy

But i might be going loopy

So things are very much the same as usual
This means I am at home doing paperwork and then out to the clubs for the evenings work.
I spent some time downloading some old school tracks.

How long have you known me?

Is there a song that reminds you of me?

If there is post it I need some reconnection music


4 times a year i go to LA to help run the biggest events in the united states

This years EDC did over 70,000 people. I am scheduled to be back in LA for Nocturnal!!
I also have a line on cochela, I have to send my resume to them but looks good.

I worked for 4 days 19 hours a day at 20 an hour. I am also looking at getting hired for love fest and we can see a whole line of work opening for me. I am SO Excited.



It has been a while since I have stopped and documented the recent moments

I quit my job

I work with one of my best friends Tom. He and I have become so busy doing the night life stuff the flyering
The backline, The Production company US. Hopefully a hot dog stand and whatever else I can do.

I make a living in the Night Life Industry
Which is kinda cool.

We did Electric Daisy Carnival Colorado it was awesome and I ended up being an event's coordinator We had about 7,000 people but next year it will be even better.

So I met the people who do the Electric Daisy Carnival Los Angeles and they offered me a JOB!!! Yes that is right paid flight, Hotel and in the end of it all CASH to work EDC LA!!!! they will have 50 to 70 THOUSAND PEOPLE at this event and I am going to be running around with my head CUT OFF!!! I am so excited. If I do a really great job maybe they will invite me to work all there major events which would be living in LA all expenses paid 7 times a year. for the most banging parties in the United States!!

So no real job and loving Life Like No Tomorrow

P.S. I also bleach my Hair, Have a sweet ass tan and got my ears out to 5/8
Life is Good

A little tired

Tom decided he wanted to hang out last night.
That lasted until today.
OMG I am a little tired and run down.